Friday, 1 April 2011

'The Letter' and some lovely, messy play!

Last year, when I did Kelly Rae's course, I wrote a letter to myself, not to be opened until 11th December 2010. I was thinking about it today, and found it, slipped down the front of my desk drawer where clearly some coffee had slipped down too! It felt really exciting handling the stained envelope and I took it over to the window and opened it in the twilight this evening 
The words brought back to me the intense stress I was under at the time as a practice nurse and at the time the only escape I could think of was to leave. Since then, many people said I should have taken time off sick but that never occurred to me, although I did have two weeks off when I was close to breaking point.

The only way to move forward from a situation like that is to put everything behind you, face the sunshine and move on. Believe in yourself, your creativity and self preservation. I had no income, no retirement fund, no sick pay, NOTHING.( I am 57 years old and will not draw pension until I am 64 I believe. I had only been in the NHS pension for two years.) I suffered headaches every day; I could not taste and smell as I had been really very ill with a virus on my days off. I had no time off ill. That was a STUPID THING TO DO. No-one thanked me for coming in; no-one thanked me for doing the job of the nurse who had left the year before and not been replaced. The toll was my sanity….but amazingly, within two weeks of leaving my precious creativity had returned.

Slowly, calmness and harmony flowed back into my life and I found myself smiling again. I enjoyed playing with colours and creating new designs for the cards I had started making. Sanity. More precious than anything. No longer do I need to cry; I am in control and I’m looking to an amazing future. A successful business.

Reading the letter I had written at that terrible time was inspiring. I have moved on, I have worked hard on my card design and finally I have taken the plunge and booked a trade fair for May to offer my range of cards to buyers from across Britain and further afield. SCARY! There is much to do but it will focus me and I feel a renewed energy from the need to push myself up the next hill.

In my letter I asked myself if I have:
• booked a lovely holiday yet. No.
• started to sell my designs on Etsy? No
• Started to sell on Folksy? No
• Had a solo exhibition of my work? No!
• Got my website up and running yet? No….but Gareth has registered my biz name The Fallen Angel Co and there is a holding page for my website so it will happen this year I hope
• Started to illustrate Hope’s stories? YES…I have made a start
• Lastly, I asked myself if it was a good move to chuck in the towel and leave nursing. Sadly the answer is yes. I am calm, creative, happy and broke although I have had some successes selling my cards but the outgoings have been quite high. All that will change this year when production is streamlined

Now for a change of subject......

10pm on Tuesday night I just had the urge, as you do, for a little messy play. I squeezed several acrylic paints onto a glass sheet....

Covered it with a second sheet...

Squished then together...HARD.....

Then prised them apart. LUSCIOUS!

I pressed a sheet of bondaweb onto one plate and old white cotton sheeting onto the second

I spritzed the bondaweb with water to allow the paper to crinkle up and produce that wonderful effect that you only get with painting onto bondaweb. I have NO idea what I shall make with all the pieces of fabric I produced but I guess they'll end up as the basis of card designs at some point!

I had to have a quick session with blues and greens too....

Here is the result. Quite pleasing.
Must go now...I have some children's cards to design for the show!


Sandie said...

How exciting to find a letter you have written to yourself. My life is in transition right now - may be a good idea for me to do that. I look back in later months and see what came of it.
Love the designs! I want to play!!

dandelion dreamer said...

Come and play anytime Sandie... Permanant playschool here!
Moira x

Marg said...

It just goes to show that sometimes you must go with your gut instinct and take that big leap. I'm so pleased you are enjoying your time now. I'm wishing you lots of success with the trade fair.

dandelion dreamer said...

thank you Marg. M x

Jenny Blair said...

Wow, thankyou so much for sharing your wee journey ..what a brave move to make and I'm so happy that you can look back knowing it's been the right step forward. I know only too well how the NHS can drain the ironic and sad considering its aim is to help people!
I only have to visit your blog to see how much has been achieved and I look forward to seeing more things being ticked off your list :)x

Sandra Rowney said...

Looking forward to seeing you very soon and joining play school :)

Susan Allan said...

You are truly an amazing woman. I take my hat off to inspirational thing, you!!!!!!!!!

You are now a successful business woman,(I have been following you) and nobody deserves it more.

Since the day I first discovered you on WOYWW, (my friend I noticed you right away), I have watched you grow and develop and I have been inspired and impressed at every step of the way.

You are an inspiration to us all and brave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, thank you, Moira!

I gave up my job due to I can empathise and therefore realise fully what you have embarked upon.

Here's to you Moira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dandelion dreamer said...

How lovely to have such good online friends!Thank you so much for all your support.x