Last night I killed a deer....

Last night we went to our local boat club for a social evening. It was my turn to drive so we ordered a curry and I went out on my own to collect it. It was dark and the road unlit. I was nearly at the curryhouse; not driving very fast at all, when a deer was in my headlights staring at me. I was startled and desperately tried to avoid it but the THUD of it as it hit my my car sent me into a hysterical frenzy. I had killed this beautiful animal. As I write this my eyes fill with tears as I re-live the horror. I need to write about it to shake the memory from my mind.

I pulled into the layby immediately past the killing place and rang Tony. He said he would come and get me. Meanwhile I rang my dear animal loving friend Lindsey. She had also been in a car and hit a deer at high speed. It had done huge damage to her car. She was reassuring. I was pleased she didn't tell me off for being reckless. I just needed to talk to someone as I sat alone, shaking in the dark.

Alan had just arrived at the club and brought Tony to get me. As the car drew up behind me with the lights on, I saw the deer lying in the road, in a pool of blood. It confirmed my worst fears; I knew then it was dead. I turned away but my thoughts turned to the deer and what a waste of a beautiful life. I was hoping that Alan would take the deer home and make use of its precious meat.

Tony came and sat in the car to calm me then a minute later Alan came to my window. I told him what I thought and he said it was already in his car. I was pleased. I did not want to see the carcass still lying in the road later when we drove home. I hate to see animals run over again and again as every passing car squashes it deeper into the tarmac.

Back at the club Roy and Alan hung the deer. Roy told me it was a young female and that she wasn't suckling so there were no little orphans out there. That was something that had never crossed my mind and so I was touched by his concern and pleased he had told me.

Later, I drove home cautiously with hunched shoulders, terrified it might happen again. It makes you so aware of the fact none of us knows what is round the corner and what might happen. Every day is precious. I am going to make the most of today.